For those
living in Israel a wedding is a major event. Couples invite everyone and their
mother’s mother. But the process to get to the alter, or the huppa, requires
many different steps. In The Israelis
by Donna Rosenthal in her chapter about Israeli weddings got me wondering about
the entire process of an Israeli wedding. Based on what people post online
about going to a wedding in Israel it sounds like the most fun you will ever
have, but based on the process the whole thing seems like a nightmare from
having to prove you are Jewish, finding a rabbi who is considered orthodox and
sanctioned by the rabbinic court, I find myself thinking that I would take the
way many have taken also and just jump on a plane literally anywhere else in
the world where this matter is considered civil and not religious. But alas
those who get married in Israel have chosen this route.
First in order to get a marriage
license in Israel you must first prove that you are Jewish and have been born
to an uninterrupted line of Jewish mothers. If a person does not meet the
religious requirements for marriage they will not be allowed to marry in
Israel. For many people that came into the country as refugees, especially
those who fled the Soviet Union during the cold war, proving that you are Jewish
in accordance to the orthodox tradition can prove to be a challenge. An article
titled “Getting Married in Israel: Why it so Often Means Hiring a Detective”
describes a case Har-Shalom, a man who runs a non profit detective agency who
tracks down Jewish ancestry, takes on in order to track down a young woman’s
Jewish ancestry. Each year Har-Shalom takes on roughly 1200 cases and the
rabbinic court almost always accepts his conclusions about a person’s status.
After fulfilling the terms set by
the Rabbinic Court then congratulations lets begin planning an Israel wedding
ceremony. Israeli weddings today keep a lot of the traditional aspects of an
Israeli wedding, but there are many modern touches as well. Some of the
traditional aspects kept in Israeli weddings are the signing of the ketuba,
which is a prenuptial agreement in which spells out a man’s legal obligations
to his wife. Today there are many places where a woman can amend the document
to fit their needs and eliminate words about a man buying his wife. During the
ceremony the couple gathers beneath the Huppa, which is like a canopy and
symbolizes a home for the new couple. After the blessings have been read in
either Hebrew or English the bride and groom sip from a cup of wine. At the end
of the ceremony it is tradition to break a glass, most people believe
that it is a symbol of the destruction of the Holy Temple and the fragility of
love and marriage. 
Mazel Tov! Now you’re married and it's time
for a party. In Israel it is considered to be a great mitzvah to celebrate a
wedding in order to bring happiness to the newlyweds. Based on many different
primary sources written by people who have attended a wedding in Israel or
multiple weddings in Israel the reception is like nothing found in the US. For
one thing during the ceremony the people gathered there pay little attention to
what is going on and the dress code is often relaxed and simple jeans being
typical to the attire. Those men who are found in suits are usually the man
marrying the couple or a few guests from out of town. In a blog written by
Benji Lovitt he writes about how he has been to many Israeli weddings and even
offers “An Idiots Guide to Israeli Weddings” in his comical post he writes
about everything from the laid back attire to the gifts, Israeli newlyweds have
no gift registry they want money, to the traditional chupah. In another first
hand account of an Israeli wedding found in the San Diego Jewish Journal writer Tinamarie Bernard writes about her experience at an Israeli wedding and found many of the informalities
that were also noted in Lovitt's blog like the fact that there was little
attention paid to the actual wedding ceremony.
In Donna Rosenthal’s chapter about
Israeli weddings she describes ceremonies that are tense and how stupid some of
the required rules are like the fact that only an orthodox rabbi can marry
people not reform or conservative rabbis. If married by a reform or
conservative rabbi this marriage will not be recognized and going abroad is
necessary for a civil marriage. Rosenthal’s point of view is that orthodox
rabbis should not have the exclusive right to marry people in Israel.
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